This Chapter is Called, "The One Claim I Shall Make," or "Pubescent Angst"

It was bound to happen.

What is the one thing you never want to read about in a girl's blog?


Boys.

And that's the topic of today's post, folks.

I hope this will be the only post I make centered on this topic, so please pardon me; I apologize for the stupid pubescent words that might spew onto this post and feel free to disregard them as the results of changing hormones and unbalanced chemicals.

With that said.

QUOTE:
“All the privilege I claim for my own sex (it is not a very enviable one: you need not covet it), is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone!”- Jane Austen's Persuasion

Or, in simpler terms:

"I do not suppose that true constancy is known only by women, but the one claim I shall make for my own sex is that we love longest, when all hope is gone." Persuasion (the 2007 movie)

You might have guessed that there's this one boy.  He's very sweet and very funny.  There's something about him that communicates that he is a deep thinker and honors what is valuable. And, of course, there's his eyes.

I was sitting in the hall, when I saw a figure wearing white.  I did not recognize the person's form at first, but as I turned around to see who it was.  Bam.  Ocean blue of multiple hues.  Right there. I'm sure I blushed beat red.  His eyes have that affect.

I have liked* this boy for four years now.  I have liked other boys while I liked this boy, but only because this boy has never liked me back.  See, if he had liked me and I had known about it, those other boys would have been history.  As it is, some of those other boys are now my friends, so I can honestly say they are wonderful guys. But, I just don't like them.  I see them as the kind of people you can have a good time with and thoroughly enjoy their company.  I just don't see them as a potential spouse.  This boy has that quality.  I can't explain it any other way.

But, he doesn't like me.  That's okay, we operate in completely different social circles, so it's not like I expect him to like me or even to notice me.  He is popular and outgoing and funny, and I am scholastic and quirky and semi-reclusive.  But, come Prom time, I always hope for something.  I hope (not "expect" or "suspect") that he'd ask me to dance.  It's the yearly wanting that gets to be so hard.

"There's a strange hunger gnawing at my heart..."-Cyrano De Bergerac

I am lonely and sad.  I have an ache in my soul that longs for a return of affection.  I've thought about it, and I can't really imagine there being another person for me.

Pubescent angst, I suppose.

I could rant and rave about all of his marvelous qualities, but who really wants to hear about someone else's love interest?  My point, exactly.  So, I'll take my exit from this area of teenage life with these sappy-but-very-applicable words:

"I want you to love me, [she] whispers, unable to speak.
And [she] wonders aloud why feelings so strong make the body so weak.
Then [she] awoke. Now [she's] scared to death somebody heard.
If it was you, and you know [him], please don't say a word."




*Just to clarify, when I say I have "liked" anyone, I mean the kind of liking from afar.  I have never told anyone that I liked them, so I've never been in a relationship.  Just wanted ya'll to know :)