"I am not my own for I have been made new. Please don't let me go, I desperately need you." ~Meteor Shower, Owl City
Why am I like this? The things I hate, I love and the things I love, I don't love enough.
I'm cheating.
That is really my self pity speakin' out of me. All I really need to do it realize that on every page of the Bible is written the following phrase:
"YOU ARE FORGIVEN, YOU DUMBO!"
Aside from this confrontation I have been avoiding, I have been taking my flimsy emotions and locking them away. I guess I should confront them and face why I feel this way. I have my own conjectures but the Doctor knows the anecdote...
~~~~~~~~~>{I have this class which is really hard for me for various reasons...I just don't know what to do. I've always been a rule follower, so much so people see me that way. I just feel so confused. The Bible doesn't write out a prescription for stuff like this. I just feel tired. I don't want to face all of this.... WARNING: SELF PITY APPROACHING}<~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay my friend, we need to have an after school Starbucks date. I whole-heartedly believe that the root of all of these struggles can be boiled down to a single sentence. It might be a horrific sentence. It might be the scariest and most complex sentence you've ever heard. But I doubt it. The root of our greatest struggles, hurts, and fears start with unbearably simple lies. And as your friend who truly cares about you- I want to help you figure out what that lie/thought is. You may already know what it is! But all I hear is bits and pieces of something that makes no sense to me. Every time I make an effort to really figure out what deep down is hurting you so much, I get pushed away. I'm not offended, you have good reason not to always want the rational, slightly insensitive me helping you through your problems. But what if it was God working through the rational, slightly insensitive me? I'm praying that God will do exactly that in my life. So I don't always throw back at you some frustrated, rational response and you can trust Him working through me.
ReplyDelete